The Back of the Tree
by Christmas Freak
This is a divisive subject, one that might ruffle some partridge feathers, but I’ll just come out with it because here at Christmas Freak we don’t shy away from the tough issues: Does it really need to be decorated? I think of it as the tree’s built-in spare room, existing solely for excess tinsel storage. If I’m feeling particularly sentimental, I’ll hang a sad, bottom-of-the-box ornament on a rear branch, but I otherwise concentrate my efforts on the front of the tree because this is the 21st century and I’m too busy Google street viewing the North Pole to worry myself with formalities.
Christmas Freak 
There is no mistaking your Xmas tree. Our first was a potted Norfolk pine. It had so few branches that it demanded a stretch of the imagination to legitimize its place for the holidays – it was all back sides at every angle, begging the obvious question, why did God make such a tree. Still with a boa of tinsel climbing up its limbs, and a sprinkling of discolored ornaments dangling like bruised fruits, it emitted a sort of a cruel charm, a social statement if you will – a Yuggly Xmas tree that might have made Charlie Brown’s eyes misty. It left us with no less cheer that Xmas morning, as Santa heaped upon it with presents that could only have been intended to make up for the brave effort at decorating a Charlie Brown tree.