Everyday Fruitcake
by Christmas Freak
I always thought I didn’t like fruitcake until I realized I was eating it on a weekly basis without realizing it. In fact, I have one in my bag right now.
If you think you don’t like fruitcake, or if you do like fruitcake and have finally finished digesting the one you ate last season and are ready for more, may I suggest trying a Lärabar? They have fancy names, but are all essentially dates, dried fruits, & nuts whirled through a food processor, pressed back together, and called “cookie” flavored. And they’re actually good! The only improvement my discerning palate would make would be to add a handful neon green cherries, a sprinkling of cinnamon and nutmeg, and a splash of rum. I’d age it for a year, package it, and call the flavor “Classic.”
Christmas Freak 
Oh yeah! The ladybird has come home to roost, where her dad always knew that all those fancy “trail mix” and ultra-organic fruit & nut bars are just an industry built around “repurposing” those two-year old fruit cakes and leftover ingredients that did not sell the previous Xmas. I would like to add that they (the real fruitcakes) are much better fresh, at one year old that is, when the neon green and ruby red cherries have not bled their crisp pigments into the matrix/substrate of the cake.
Not to worry, even in that state, they can be further repurposed into suet for darling creatures like cardinals, blue-birds and other Xmas favorites.