Cross Country Skiing
by Christmas Freak
Theoretically a wholesome and peaceful December activity, skis gliding over the snow so quietly you can hear the birds twittering, the wind rustling the pine needles, the icicles drip drip dripping, etc, etc, heart filled with inner tranquility and well wishes for the world. In practice, uphills are impossible, basically skiing in place a la NordicTrack, or forced to walk up hill making a V shape with legs, very unnatural, sweating, groaning, complaining, molesting birds & wildlife. Downhills are terrifying, skis floppy, easily derailed from narrow parallel tracks, causing a slow motion face plant. Snow wedged in shoes, sleeves, collar of jacket. Damp socks.
Christmas Freak 
Not to mention the unseemly sight of a tangle of limbs and ski poles, twisted like a baby crane discovering its uncooperative new legs in a flurry of white, in this case not down feathers, but cold, wet snow.
I would rate X-country skiing on par with snow shoeing on the list of “fun” winter activities. The latter evokes a different mimicry, that of an abominable snow man. The operative word is “abominable”. The best place for snow shoes is under the bed…and mine have been there ever since.