Cross Country Skiing
by Christmas Freak
Theoretically a wholesome and peaceful December activity, skis gliding over the snow so quietly you can hear the birds twittering, the wind rustling the pine needles, the icicles drip drip dripping, etc, etc, heart filled with inner tranquility and well wishes for the world. In practice, uphills are impossible, basically skiing in place a la NordicTrack, or forced to walk up hill making a V shape with legs, very unnatural, sweating, groaning, complaining, molesting birds & wildlife. Downhills are terrifying, skis floppy, easily derailed from narrow parallel tracks, causing a slow motion face plant. Snow wedged in shoes, sleeves, collar of jacket. Damp socks.